One of the most appalling things about tragedies is that we’re all subject to them. The shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida devastated me. I found out about it at the beginning of my shift at a mental hospital. During the evening I kept sneaking off to a linen closet to … Continue reading If I Can’t Go to the March…
Where Nobody Knows Her Name
With more class than I will ever muster, LeBron James declines to "shut up and dribble" and instead executes the perfect boom shakalaka on an insignificant person. The following song parody is sung to the theme from the tv show Cheers. Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got Matters aren’t … Continue reading Where Nobody Knows Her Name
A Shithole Country Can Be in Your Own Backyard
Three days before the 2018 Women’s March and five days after Donald Trump’s shithole comments, the Remote Control Terrorist and I took our first vacation in 15 years. We headed to Ruidoso, New Mexico from the Texas Hill Country, a drive of over 500 miles. I will be writing about our little adventure, but first … Continue reading A Shithole Country Can Be in Your Own Backyard
New Year! New Me?
I wrote this 8 years ago and for the most part it still applies on this, the last day of 2017. New Year! New Me? Not likely. After 62 new beginnings, I'll never change. I'll never mature. Would a mature woman watch South Park every night and impersonate Eric Cartman? "No, kitty! My pot pie!" … Continue reading New Year! New Me?
My Louise Linton Bucket List
Oh, please let me look at a grandmother who was a single parent who also took care of her legally blind grandmother the way Louise Linton is looking at me. Let me perfect that - fuck you and your insignificance because you have to work two jobs to pay your bills, while giving up food … Continue reading My Louise Linton Bucket List
Halloween with Stephen King
“Somehow, I got back up the stairs, past the broken banister and the light fixture that dangled against the torn plaster like a dead head on a broken neck.” I wish I wrote that. I opened a book to a random page and wasn’t surprised to find such an amazing sentence. You can find it … Continue reading Halloween with Stephen King
The Cats vs Zombies Journal
The key to survival is cats. Nobody listened to me back in the good old days when all I had to worry about was paying the Internet bill and still having enough left over to eat. Fucking Time Warner Cable. Let’s see you collect that $237.48 I still owe you now. I may be … Continue reading The Cats vs Zombies Journal
Boom! Shakalaka!
From the Urban Dictionary: An onomatopoeic "in your face." Originally the sound of a slam-dunk in basketball -- the "boom” being the dunk, and the "shakalaka" being the rattling of the backboard. To express a feeling of joy and dominance, while at the same time trying to show the world who you are and where … Continue reading Boom! Shakalaka!
#StevenSeagal + #Putin = Gross
Apparently Steven Seagal has run off to be a Russian citizen so he can criticize American citizens who exercise their right to peacefully protest racial inequality. I try to ignore Steven Seagal, but did watch Piers Morgan interview him on Good Morning Britain. Just looking at Seagal reminds me it's time to take a shower. … Continue reading #StevenSeagal + #Putin = Gross
ROOSEVELT
Two years and four months ago I had congestive heart failure, came minutes from dying and subsequently had an aortic valve replacement. Depression can be a side effect of a major heart event, but my depression didn’t kick in until November 9, 2016, when the United States Presidential election was called for Donald J. Trump. … Continue reading ROOSEVELT
Babble & Bite 