I wrote this Halloween story years ago and one of the real life characters has since died and another is not in the public eye as much. I didn't update it because Joan Rivers influenced my writing during my misspent youth and Paris Hilton is crucial to the last joke. RIP Joan. Thanks for … Continue reading That’s Entertainment!
I wrote this 8 years ago and for the most part it still applies on this, the last day of 2017. New Year! New Me? Not likely. After 62 new beginnings, I'll never change. I'll never mature. Would a mature woman watch South Park every night and impersonate Eric Cartman? "No, kitty! My pot pie!" … Continue reading New Year! New Me?
Oh, please let me look at a grandmother who was a single parent who also took care of her legally blind grandmother the way Louise Linton is looking at me. Let me perfect that - fuck you and your insignificance because you have to work two jobs to pay your bills, while giving up food … Continue reading My Louise Linton Bucket List
“Somehow, I got back up the stairs, past the broken banister and the light fixture that dangled against the torn plaster like a dead head on a broken neck.” I wish I wrote that. I opened a book to a random page and wasn’t surprised to find such an amazing sentence. You can find it … Continue reading Halloween with Stephen King
The key to survival is cats. Nobody listened to me back in the good old days when all I had to worry about was paying the Internet bill and still having enough left over to eat. Fucking Time Warner Cable. Let’s see you collect that $237.48 I still owe you now. I may be … Continue reading The Cats vs Zombies Journal
From the Urban Dictionary: An onomatopoeic "in your face." Originally the sound of a slam-dunk in basketball -- the "boom” being the dunk, and the "shakalaka" being the rattling of the backboard. To express a feeling of joy and dominance, while at the same time trying to show the world who you are and where … Continue reading Boom! Shakalaka!
Apparently Steven Seagal has run off to be a Russian citizen so he can criticize American citizens who exercise their right to peacefully protest racial inequality. I try to ignore Steven Seagal, but did watch Piers Morgan interview him on Good Morning Britain. Just looking at Seagal reminds me it's time to take a shower. … Continue reading #StevenSeagal + #Putin = Gross
Two years and four months ago I had congestive heart failure, came minutes from dying and subsequently had an aortic valve replacement. Depression can be a side effect of a major heart event, but my depression didn’t kick in until November 9, 2016, when the United States Presidential election was called for Donald J. Trump. … Continue reading ROOSEVELT
Now that I’ve quit smoking, I can state with complete confidence that I’m the only American on the planet that is not addicted to something that helps them deal with financial troubles, health issues, shitty jobs, relationship nightmares and/or Donald J. Trump. So what do I do about my lifelong poverty, severe depression, rapid … Continue reading Fool Me Once…
I don’t have time to watch videos on YouTube, but Brian Christopher is now part of my morning ritual, which includes coffee and bitterness. What is it about Brian Christopher that makes people watch his YouTube channel? Perhaps it’s his good looks. The man makes a good first impression. Maybe it’s because his laugh sounds … Continue reading Watch Me Play
Babble & Bite 