The True Meaning of Love is Attention to Detail

alamo-city-comic-con

Here’s what I learned about Alamo City Comic Con.  The fans who wear costumes are dead serious about it.  I was pretty flattered that a few of them said they liked my Because Daryl Said So t-shirt.

because-daryl-said-so

There’s nothing that makes me feel safer than having Daryl pressed against my old lady boobies.

I devoured comic books long before any of the people I met were even born, but I’m not even close to being a fan compared to any of the creative geniuses in these photos.

I’d love to cosplay, but don’t have what it takes to pull it off:  money and lack of body shame.  Maybe if I sell some books this year and lose 60 pounds?

I don’t even know who some of these characters are, but don’t care because their costumes are amazing.  For example, what the hell is steam punk?  I could look it up since I’m on the computer now and the Internet bill is paid, but it’s more fun to speculate.  Steam would indicate a locomotive, so I’m assuming it must have something to do with the 19th century, but the punk is a mystery to me.  Are these characters badass graffiti artists?  Anarchists?  Send me your comments about my ignorance.  I can take it.

steam-punk-2

I am so under dressed.

steam-punk-tea

Three very cool people. Tea from Voix A Geek Chic Boutique is in the middle.

steam-punk

I found the epitome of steam punk.

girly

She’s a showstopper, but I have no idea who she is.

captain-jack-sparrow

Alicia and Captain Jack Sparrow both looking hot!

negan-woman

This female Negan told me she was criticized for usurping a male character. I have news for you guys. All women want to bash in heads with Lucille on a daily basis.

feelings-movie

I haven’t seen Inside out, but after seeing these amazing costumes I now want to. They’re glowing!

punisher

No idea who the guy in red is, but he looked cool. I recognized the Punisher and saw Jon Bernthal from a distance. You’ll always be that asshole Shane to me, Jon.

deadpool

Best line in film is in the opening credits in that amazing slow motion first scene. Written by the real heroes here.

randy-balls

Trey Parker and Matt Stone are two of my heroes, so I couldn’t resist touching one of their creations.

My favorite costume was created by an Open Source advocate, Brian Beck.  Check out his Facebook page.  https://www.facebook.com/designbybeck  I chased Brian down because he wore a larger version of his clever name tag on the back of his suit.  “That one Henchman from that one Comic Book” graphic was edited on a Linux machine and the vector graphics program Inkscape – http://inkscape.org

The reason I liked his costume so much is because of the simplicity and wit involved in creating it.  It also reminds me of my Halloween costume for the last several years.  I’ve always considered Danielle Steel’s book author shots to be over the top.  Really, Danielle?  Is this how writers dress?  How much did those 25 bracelets cost?  Is that chair made out of gold?  Is that a fucking limo you’re stepping out of?  So, to show her what’s what, I’d dress as a writer in pajamas since that’s what most of us wear when writing.  Makeup?  Don’t make me laugh.  Is it my day off?  I’ll brush my hair when I have to go to work. Maybe.

The rest of my costume is a lanyard with a name tag bearing one of her most outlandish photos and the phrase, NOT DANIELLE STEEL.  Simple and snarky.  I showed her. (Danielle Steel’s net worth is an estimated $310 million, with 900 million of her novels sold.  My royalties last month were seventy seven cents and I only sold 5 books at Alamo City Comic Con.)

I have one more entry about my adventures at Alamo City Comic Con.  I hope you’ll come back to read it.  And while you’re at it, buy some books and help finance that personal trainer/snack food tyrant I’m going to have to hire to be able to go as Harley Quinn next year.

ladybeard

Okay, maybe I don’t need to work out and starve quite as much I as thought. Love you, Ladybeard of Texas!

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