I stumbled across this story which I wrote at least 6 years ago. Now I'm happily retired & still screwing up. Work is kicking my ass to the point where I fully expect to drop dead in front of a customer so rude he’ll probably kick me in the head and tell me to finish … Continue reading Tripping Over My Bucket List
Remember back in high school or college or in the parking lot at your job yesterday how paranoid that weed you smoked made you feel? Me either. I didn’t smoke weed, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know about paranoia. Karl Rove, George W. Bush’s Deputy Chief of Staff once walked directly behind me for … Continue reading Men, You Better Pause
agony i beat my breast with that thing you use to beat eggs what do you call it never mind nobody cares if my flip-flop soul is coming unraveled my ideological marx umbrella is ripped from the hand not holding that thing you use to beat eggs twisted beyond recognition by a satirical wind i … Continue reading Manifesto
You know what's great about old people? Neither do I. Before the one old person who accidentally stumbles across this post while trying to FaceTime a grandchild berates me in the comment section, he or she should know I'm eligible for Medicare in 9 months. A couple of years ago, while shopping for walking shoes … Continue reading Leave Troy the Fuck Alone
New Year! New Me? Not likely. After 54 new beginnings, I'll never change. I'll never mature. Would a mature woman watch South Park every night and impersonate Eric Cartman?" No, kitty! My pot pie!" A woman of my age with my income is supposed to wear polyester pantsuits - the more stretchy the better. … Continue reading Nope
When talking to pregnant women, some men display as much brain power and tact as a horny poodle humping a bobcat. Ninety-five percent of the men speaking to their wives are the soon-to-be fathers and the other five percent think they are the fathers.In an effort to ensure as many children as possible grow … Continue reading If You Want to Live, Keep Your Mouth Shut
Dear Orange Leader for Life of the United States, I take it you haven’t had a chance to peruse the Thesaurus I gave you at our first meeting in Singapore. Might I suggest you carry it with you on your many unnecessary trips to campaign for the 2020 election? If you are not certain how … Continue reading It Was a Beautiful Letter
Below is my partial application to become the latest "permanent" White House Chief of Staff for Trump. Please describe why you hope to be a part of the President's administration. The $179,700 yearly salary. I doubt the current occupant of the White House will still be there in six months, but I insist on the … Continue reading White House Chief of Staff – My Dream Job
Seriously, Melania? Please tell me you didn't spend my tax dollars on these suicidal Christmas trees. The only thing that keeps me sane during the shit show in the White House is the fact that there are some damn clever people in the world. It's not just Christmas, every day is scary with Trump in … Continue reading A Scary Christmas
I turned 63 today and decided to really celebrate for a change. Here are the things I celebrated. Taking the day off from not only work, but also politics. The Remote Control Terrorist aka the somewhat humanoid who I live with got me an out-of-print copy of one of my favorite books, Genius, by … Continue reading Celebration
Babble & Bite 