Trump should change his first name to Patsy.

Dear Orange Leader for Life of the United States,

I take it you haven’t had a chance to peruse the Thesaurus I gave you at our first meeting in Singapore.  Might I suggest you carry it with you on your many unnecessary trips to campaign for the 2020 election?  If you are not certain how to use it, do not fret.  I will explain.  Look up the word “tremendous” and then substitute that word with one of the many words displayed.  For instance you could say the relationship between us is monumental.  Then you can use taxpayer dollars to erect our statues (making us both taller and thinner) in every major city in the United States.

How is your golf game, Oh, Mighty Athlete?  It is my understanding that you are Number One in mulligans.

I have two favors to ask of you, my squishy friend.  First, before you jet off to campaign against sleepy Joe Biden in a magical place called Iowa, tell the Fake News you will never allow the Central Intelligence Agency to spy on me.  I am very unhappy with the fake news story that I had my half brother killed.  In fact, that story made me so angry I forced one of my many Sous-Chefs at the Ryongsong Residence to stand at attention while I fired watermelon balls from a sling shot at his head.  Very satisfying.

If you would be so kind, Oh, Disrespecter of Worthless Women, please send me posthaste the young, beautiful and talented Deplorable Choir for a “short” visit.  I know they want to meet me because they used me in one of their videos.  And as I always say as the Supreme Leader, why have a YouTube video when you can have the real thing?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwXMPovrU9I&t=46s

I apologize if this letter is a longer document than you are capable of reading, so I will leave you to your continued success.

Hugs and Kisses,

Kim Jong-un

Dear Respected Comrade Kim Jong Un, Chairman of the Workers’ Party of Korea, Chairman of the State Affairs Commission of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea and Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army, and Bestie of the President of the United States